There can be great beauty in a broken heart. Sometimes life can change in an instant. One day we are deeply in love, and the next day we are crushed with loneliness, sadness, and anger. When the heart breaks, it is important not to try and fix it or deny it. Just sit with it for a time and feel your heart. Send your heart love.
I believe that our lives are organized like a pocket watch with many gears. Some relationships are like fast moving gears, while others creep along like a sunrise. We must trust the bigger picture of our lives. What did we learn from ourselves in our interaction? What inspired us about that person? I believe that we get to see a different side to ourselves through the eyes of different people. The secret is not to lose what we have found in ourselves. This is the true gold that can never be taken away.
As time passes, we can connect to our different parts of our psyche without the need of a certain person to catalyze this process. Keep that broken heart open. We have a doorway to our true self that we sometimes hide from our own awareness. Other people can be just a symbol of what we most needed to find within ourselves. Like a miner digging for gold. The dirt should not be the focus of our labor, but rather the specks of gold.
Refine your experiences down to the core of what you needed most to find. Maybe it is about gaining personal power, or the ability to allow yourself to let go and get swept away.
To detach from a person, it important to resolve the anger and this can be done in many ways. A personal favorite of mine is the ancient Hawaiian practice of Hoʻoponopono. Hold the feeling of space between you and the person you need to release. You repeat over and over:
“I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank-you, I love you.”
It doesn’t matter if you feel the person deserves forgiveness or not. This is not just the releasing of the emotional tethers that hold people to you, this is also about self-forgiveness. We say this to ourselves to help our own healing process as well as on behalf of another person. Contact me for Spiritual Mentorship if you would like some help in this process.
Find the closure with others who we need to release.
Keep your heart open. Never shut it down. Not for that person, or the next one.